Almost a Year

Each morning, among my devotional books, I read Carlin’s Morning By Morning by Charles H. Spurgeon.  As I hold this book, I know I am touching Carlin’s fingerprints, touching a book he treasured.  I am moved by the phrases he has underlined, and the dates and comments he has made in the margins.  Carlin was never into journaling, but, oh, yes, as you pick up any Bible or book he has read, there is obvious evidence of who he was and what meant a lot to him. 

 

Carlin was a tender hearted, gentle person.  I try to imagine what his joy must be as he is in the presence of Jesus now.

 

So, what am I left with?  Half a person sometimes.  I feel like my days now, near the anniversary of his death are with heavy feet, plodding along.  I shuffle through the memories of the last year, this time, with Carlin fading fast before my very eyes.  Then, came home hospice care, where he was put on morphine and other medications.  I’m still not sure if all that was necessary.  I know the morphine took him from me days before he actually breathed his last breath on April 19, 2014.

 

What a day to now mark as an anniversary!  I plan to go to the cemetery and sit a long while contemplating.  I will consider our almost 52 years together and how awesome God has been, as the song says, “Jesus led me all the way.”  I’ll think on Scripture verses.  I’ll praise Him for His tender love and care for Carlin, and now for me as I am charting out a different life. 

 

I am so very grateful for friends who seem to speak and listen at just the right moments.

 

I am so very grateful for “the cottage” which has been in need of some repairs, and I’m grateful how God has led me to people to help to pull it off.  One example:  we took out the old wood stove, and installed a gas insert fireplace.  Oh, how grateful I am for that!

 

I know my time of grieving is poignant.  I feel out of place in a grief group I attend once per month, and I feel in a different space just being in church Sunday by Sunday.  It’s hard to explain.  But it seems I want to change things—me, the older, mature, grieving woman.  I must remember it is just my space right now.

But I am grateful, so grateful, for God’s presence with me.

 

In another devotional book I read the other day, this jumped out at me:

“It is a great comfort to me to realize anew that it is God and only God I need.  ‘Thou, O Lord, art the thing I long for.’  Psalm 7:5.  Yes, it is He, my Lord, my Beloved Who satisfies my heart and makes me whole and strong however pressed the outward man may be.”

 

That’s pretty much it.  Praise!

Marcia

Lunch with friends

I am amazed there are still hits on the blog, now three months since Carlin passed away.  Every once in a while I read something that could go to the blog, I suppose.  It would be nice to hear what people would write back and interact with me sometimes.

 

Today I was out for lunch with two couples who have been dear friends of Carlin and I for years.  We were a three couple friendship often going out to eat together.  Today when I walked up to a table set for 5, it was so sadly obvious Carlin was missing.  Tears.  Among many things we talked about, we also talked about how immensely more difficult it would be to lose your spouse young with little children in the home.

 

I grieve by tears at odd times, and memories sometimes bring tears.  But I am experiencing God’s tender comforts and presence in the most precious ways.  I am not asking why.  I am not blaming God, nor am I feeling any anger.  He is precious, precious to me.  He has sent helpers when I’ve needed them.  And lots of times with friends.  I’ve been busy beyond what I would have imagined just tending to things that need to be tended to.

 

Tonight I watched the DVD of Carlin’s Memorial Service on the big screen.  I pray God will continue to use that service should people still pull it up on the blog.

Love you,

Marcia

How am I doing?

Dear Friends on the blog,

Where to begin?  The days are busy, tending to so many things, on both sides of the border.  I look forward to everything being in order, and for life to even out.  Yesterday I stopped by the beautiful cemetery where we buried Carlin.  It was time to remove the geraniums Cheri and I had placed there for the Memorial Day week.  I was happy to bring them home and plant them in the “Carlin Garden” container garden.  So precious.  Memories.  A tear.

 

When Ray asked me how I was doing, I thought about all the times I have felt a pure joy welling up within me, and then, the times of busyness, the details it seems I’ve been continually dealing with, the times I look at the chair where Carlin used to lay his clothes when he was getting ready for bed (oh. tears).  But I, so tangibly, know my tender Father’s care. 

 

The other day, while driving to yet another appointment to sign some papers, I was taken, overwhelmed, with a beautiful sense of being loved.  I felt such love, as if I were hugged.  As I mused on that, I thought it had to be my Father, again, who has promised to be a husband to the husbandless.  So, when I am asked how I am doing, I have to say I am walking in peace and assurance and joy.  There may be some who would chose to misunderstand that, and perhaps I am expressing it poorly.  You,  who have walked through the loss of a spouse would understand more clearly.  “Oh, how He loves you and me,” goes the old song.  I am so grateful.

 

One of Carlin’s dear friends, JP, who worked alongside Carlin at MBMission as, among other things, the IT guy, has been so helpful to me.  Dear, dear JP.

One day when he and his wife, Sam, were here, I asked JP what of Carlin’s could I give him.  He replied that he would really love to have a book that was special to Carlin.  We walked into the library. 

 

Where to start?  I reached over and pulled out Carlin’s Spurgeon’s devotional book, which Carlin has read every day over the past couple of years, making notations in the margins.  And he even noted the time when, after his prognosis, he had been awake during the night and in his spirit just asked God for something. He needed something.  And to Carlin, it was as if a voice—was it Jesus or angels—that said, “I will hold your hand, and we will walk away quietly together.” 

 

Well, with a catch in my heart, I gave JP that precious book.  Perhaps it would be a major thing in his life as it had been in Carlin’s.  The follow up to that story is that, after tending to business this past Monday, I dropped by our friends, Ron and Sandra’s home.  We had a really nice visit (friends are so precious).  Then Ron said, “Marcia, I bought a book for you” (people do give you books in an effort to comfort), and there in my hand I read,  “We Shall See GOD, Charles Spurgeon’s classic devotional thoughts on Heaven,” by Randy Alcorn.  I was so caught by once again, experiencing God’s tender care.  Coincidence?  Not a chance!  Carlin’s Spurgeon is back in my hands with expansion on Heaven.

 

I feel a strange thing these days when now I am forced to use the words, “I, me, mine” in relation to everything—the car, the house, the accounts, the insurances, life.  It doesn’t feel right.  So many years it has been “we, us, ours.”  It feels selfish, or something.  How singular life has become.  Where before, the way I thought (most of the time!) was for what was best for Carlin, how I could bless him, how I could do what he wanted to do. 

 

It’s now a new way of thinking.  I’ve also mused how it would be very easy as a single person to become self-absorbed, as now it is solely, what is best for Marcia, what blesses me, this is what I want to do.  My one protection against that is my relationship with God as He will keep me others focused, thinking what is best for so-and-so, what would bless her/him, and what can I do to facilitate what she or he wants to do.

 

A friend, Marg, unbeknownst to anyone, took a home video of Carlin’s May 2^nd graveside service and just a few days ago gave me three DVDs for the girls.  She apologized for it being a unedited thing, but it was a special gift.  People have offered yard work, dinners out, visits in, etc. continually and I am so blessed to have friends around.  I continue with my Bible study girls (all close to my age, but I still call them “girls”).  Precious friends.

 

More precious is how God ministers to my spirit.  Just a few days ago I read from one of my devotional books, Progress of Another Pilgrim by Frances J. Roberts, (it is written as if Jesus is speaking directly to you), “I will minister to you as you wait upon me . . .and I know precisely what you need. . .I will give you what you need for health of soul and strength of spirit.  Go your way in peace and in rejoicing.  The Lord your God is with you and will be your helper.”  How good is that?

 

Four days ago the phrase “Enoch walked with God and he was not for God took him” was going through my mind.  I mentioned it to some friends,

“Carlin walked with God and he was not for God took him.”  Indeed, it seems like that to me.  Gone from normal living in less than six weeks, and caught up to Heaven!  Pure joy, inexpressible joy for Carlin.  Love, as he never knew before—both his love for Jesus, and Jesus’ love for him.  I can imagine Carlin in all that.  When I think of Heaven, what time I have left before I join Carlin and all the hosts of Heaven is just o.k.

There’s only glory up ahead.

 

Thanks for your prayers (I know God is answering).  Thanks for reading my rambling.

God bless you all today.

Marcia

I miss Carlin

Dear friends,

There are no words to describe what has happened and is happening within me since Carlin’s illness and passing!  I miss Carlin.  That doesn’t tell adequately or accurately what it is.

 

I experience times of such amazing peace and assurance it thrills me, and I know it is my tender Father’s care.  I praise Him for His Spirit within me!  There are tears.  Memories.  Unbelief that he is really gone.  And I always come back to thinking how committed Carlin was to serving God, and accepting every opportunity as God‘s appointment.  In his last two months, just before the diagnosis, I wondered at a reluctance to accept opportunities and decided he was tired from the mountains of things we did in the last six months.  Perhaps he was realizing he was not well.  I chose to believe the Father looked down from Heaven and said, “OK Carlin, everything I had planned for you to be and do is accomplished, come on Home!”

 

Oh, I have received such precious letters and cards and notes!  I have had such wonderful times with dear friends who come to visit.  And times with dear neighbors.  Laughter and sadness.  Again, inadequacy to describe.  Joy.  Praise.

 

The following poem came in a card a few days ago from a dear elderly friend, written out in script:

 

  The things you loved I have not put away

               To molder in the darkness year by year

  The songs you sang, The books you read

Each day are all around me, intimate and dear.

 

  I do not keep your chair a thing apart,

Lonely and empty—desolate to view

  But if one comes a-weary, sick at heart

               I seat him there and comfort him for you.

 

  I do not go apart in grief and weep

               For I have known your tenderness and care;

  Such memories are joys, that we may keep

               And so I pray for those whose lives are bare.

 

  I may not daily go and scatter flowers where you are sleeping

               Neath the sun and dew

  But if one lies in pain through weary hours

               I send flowers there, dear heart, for you.

 

  Life claims our best, you would not have me waste

               A single day in selfish idle woe,

  I fancy that I hear you bid me haste        

               Lest I should sadly falter as I go.

 

  Perchance so much that now seems incomplete

               Was left for me in my poor way to do,

  And I shall love to tell you when we meet—

               That I have done your errands, dear, for you!

                                             Martha Snell Nicholson

 

 

 

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Here is a letter I received last week from a dear friend that was so tender.  He eloquently expressed words from a heart that knows how to comfort.  People who pray are so precious.  I am indebted to all the folks who have prayed and are praying.  How else would I know such comfort?

Here is part of his letter:

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I want you to know that I am available whenever you need me. You can let me know if there is a good time to do something for you. I am happy to come down to the cottage. If you just want me to send you some instructions on how to do something on the computer or BB, I can do that as well. I want so very much to be helpful but without being a bother. There is no rush on anything so we can do things as it works best for you.

 

I wish there was more I could do to help during this time. I will keep on praying. I will pray that you will feel our heavenly Father's loving arms embrace you. May He hold you up when you lack the strength to stand. May He carry you when you lack the strength to walk. May He weep for you when your eyes have run out of tears. May He bring you rest when the weariness provides none. May He bless you and keep you close always.

 

We love you a lot Marcia. We miss Carlin too.

 

J.P.

Carlinisms

Many people requested a list of the Carlinisms referred to by several of the speakers during the Memorial Service on Saturday, so here goes. These aren’t all original with Carlin, as some were adapted by him because they so succinctly expressed what he truly felt was important:

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Tears are a sign of a heart that is under heavy construction.

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"Not the one wrong but, the one strong" (with regards to seeking forgiveness and reconciliation)

"Don't give up in the dark what God has shown you in the light."

There are two ways to be rich: 1) Have lots if money 2) Have few needs

"God gives grace for the place!"

Thinking of you lots, Marcia!!! Praying for you always!!

Hugs,  Amy

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Sometimes the door needs to be slammed loud enough to be heard.

When faced with an opportunity, ask, Why shouldn’t I do it instead of why should I do it!

In all relationships chose not to be offended.

Son, here’s how to talk about your spouse: “she’s really something.”

If you want to do something lasting and meaningful for your children—love their mother!

When you are really passionate about something, it’s OK to cry.

To be a great leader, remember really good men understand the dynamics of leadership and know how to lead; if you want to be a truly great leader know there are times to be a great follower.

You can never out give God.

It’s just stuff.

No education is ever wasted.

Keep the main thing as the main thing.

When giving or tithing, always round it up.

In church, every person, a ministry.

Re. missions, (out the corner of his mouth) “just write the check!)

Don’t underestimate the power of the Word of God.

Be ready to preach, pray, or die at a moment’s notice.

II Timothy 1:13, 14: “Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus. Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to you.”

What’s down in the well, comes up in the bucket.

You’ll never lose when you help somebody else win.

Tell me what you are for, not what you’re against.

Give yourself to that which will matter 100 years from now.

We’re not smart enough to figure this stuff out on our own.

The way up is down.

The Bible is a layman’s book.

90% of success in ministry is just showing up.

Let’s figure out where God’s wave is and ride it.

Being is far more important than doing.

Hey, Guy!

Consider others better than yourself.

Prayer is the work of the ministry/kingdom

Seek the secret place rather than the opiate of the pulpit.

We need to gather fresh bread every day.

Sometimes going slower will get you there faster.

Go for leadership consensus, it has high value.

The outcome is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (it could be a lot worse. Perspective)

Don’t jump the chasm twice (be decisive in leadership and do it right the first time)

Keep big things big (the Word of God, prayer, mission, etc.) and little things little (the color of the carpet, projects) and ask God every day to show you which is which.

Sometimes you feel you’re busier than a one armed paper hanger.

When a Thai builder used the words, “Jiggery pokery” for something he didn’t understand, Carlin, and then the Thai missions team, adopted it.

Carlin’s opinion of small planes in turbulent weather, “Ricky, I’m not going on that vomit comet! Pay the extra $10, $15! We’re not going on that vomit comet again!”

Col. 4. Devote yourselves to prayer, be wise, make the most of every opportunity.

To Ronnie, music director at Willingdon: “Ronnie, take us to Jesus. Just take us to Jesus.” (Ron took that to mean “just shut up and sing.”)

Money is tangible gratitude.

Love the church.

Go with the going people.

When hiring staff, only “date” one person at a time.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other (eg. The centipede)

When getting started on a project “just throw two planks across the river.” Get started.

Sometimes it is right to give a vital person in the group more than one vote.

God will speak loud enough for the willing heart to hear.

Never let anyone leave your office without praying for them.

Always take the long term view of ministry.

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There are probably more Carlinisms you have heard. If you think of some, please send them on to the blog at CarlinAndMarcia@gmail.com , so they can be added. Marcia

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Here are the ones from MB Mission. – J.P.

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Prayer is the work of the kingdom

We are not smart enough to figure this out on our own

We need fresh bread each day

“Prayer is the work of ministry”

ITS AMAZING

Listen Folks ….

Sometimes by going slower, you get there faster”.

Ramp up your missions commitment

Let’s press ahead

Let’s keep our powder dry around these items

I have comfort with this

That’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, folks

You have soldiered well

You can paint it with all the colors you want to paint it

That’s about as old as the hills

I’m a bit out of gas to motor on down the road with that

I don’t like jumping over the chasm twice

Full meal deal

Keep those eggs warm

I’ll punch into that bag and see if anything comes out for me

They will do the heavy lifting

He’s from a different cut of cloth

Can we have a certain amount of wiggle and jiggle with that?

I couldn’t get a lid on it

Thanks, guy

You are a gentleman and a scholar

“You’re knee deep in alligators”

“Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.”

“That year was quite the fruit basket upset.”

“I’m finding the edge of things here.”

“My computer is fried … fried up in bacon grease.”

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LN

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Another Carlinism:

"When considering the amount of the donation cheque, just ask your wife and the one that says the higher number, that's the amount you write."

Thanks so much Marcia.  This week I used one of his Carlinisms.  "I will choose not to be offended".  His sayings were such a blessing and I will keep re-reading them.

Theodore Janzen

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In preaching and teaching, I think there is one rule that must be remembered.  It comes in the form of a statement learned from my first preaching professor, Dr. Carlin Weinhauer.  He repeatedly told our eager class of budding preachers: “Never traffic in unfelt truth.”

D. Kroeker

Dear Family and Friends of the Blog:

It’s been several days now since the weekend of Carlin’s graveside service and his Memorial Service.  How amazing it all was.  I wish you all could have been there!  Friday dawned a glorious, fresh sunny day, and the grave site was beautiful with blooming cherry trees, and a lovely group of special friends.  God was so good. 

 

Saturday’s service was another touch from God.  Awesome God.  So many friends came to mourn and celebrate with us, and I thought of “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.”

 

Today was a big day, as they all seem to be now for me.  There is much to do.  I was in the city tending to some details, forms, things that need to be done.  Then I stopped to see dear George and Kay who have the gift of crying with me!  Not everyone has so tender a gift.

 

And then, just now, I returned from a trip to the Slavic Gospel Church in Bellingham where I took Carlin’s suits.  For days it seemed the message to me was to give away carefully Carlin’s beautiful suits, which had graced the back of such a beautiful man for ministry in the pulpit, and more recently, the beautiful suit he had worn as he conducted the marriage ceremony for our dear Jodie and Matt, December 27. 

 

I wanted to pray those suits onto the backs of some godly pastors somewhere, and now Pastor Ilyn promises they will go to pastors in the Ukraine.  Only God knows for sure where they will indeed end up, but I pray it will be with blessing.  It was such a hard thing to do, this releasing what has been my Carlin’s into other hands.  One of Carlin’s sayings, “It’s only stuff” went through my head.  Truly.  But God can use “stuff” for extra blessing, too.

 

Tomorrow I will do the Carlinisms list so many have been asking for.

 

Blessings on you all.  Thank you for praying. 

 

“Does Jesus care when my heart is pained too deeply for mirth and song. . .Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye to the dearest on earth to me, And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks, Is it aught to Him? Does He see? 

 

O yes, He cares, I know He cares, His heart is touched by my grief, when the days are weary, the long nights dreary, I know my Saviour cares.”

The Carlin Garden

The pot below was one I put together just two days before Carlin’s graveside service.  I dubbed it “The Carlin Garden.”  Forget Me Nots, one lone red geranium.  Carlin always loved the red geraniums I planted every year in our deck railing “window” boxes.  Loved any red flowers.   

We laid red roses on Carlin’s casket, as a family, just before it was lowered into the ground on Friday. It moved me to see the beautiful bouquets of flowers at the Memorial Service on Saturday, sprinkled with red roses.  Red.   He loved real flowers and had little time for silk—or anything fake, for that matter. 

He had little appreciation for anything that wasn’t real, i.e. novels, movies, unless they were based on real life stories.  Though someone remarked that he liked fast action car races.

I’m praying the Carlin garden will flourish this summer beyond belief!

Love to all,

Marcia

Carlin’s eulogy

Carlin Eugene Weinhauer was born October 31, 1939 to Frank and Thelma Weinhauer of Wellsville, New York. He graduated high school in 1957 at which time he attended a conference and gave his life to Christ, with the commitment to anywhere, at any time, at any cost. He attended Buffalo Bible Institute for one year, going on to Briercrest Bible Institute the fall of 1959 where he graduated from the pastor’s course, April 15, 1962. Carlin met Marcia Watne during one of the summers between college years where she was teaching in rural Montana under the American Sunday school union. She joined him to study at Briercrest. They married on August 11, 1962.

In the fall of that year, Carlin and Marcia travelled to South Carolina where he attended Columbia Bible College (now Columbia International University) where he received his bachelor of arts degree in Biblical education, June 1, 1964. While studying in South Carolina, Carlin and Marcia were asked to pastor Mt. Olivet Baptist church. He was ordained to pastoral ministry there on May 31, 1964. In August 1966 they were called back to Montana to pastor three rural American Sunday school union churches.

In February 1968 they moved to Chicago where Carlin began his studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and where Carlin and Marcia served as associate pastor couple at Bethel Community Evangelical Free Church. He received his master of arts degree in Christian Education, completed through summer studies, in June 14, 1974.

In august 1969 Carlin was invited to teach at Briercrest Bible Institute, where he continued to serve for fifteen years. During the early years at Briercrest, he completed a master of arts degree in pastoral theology at the Chicago graduate school of theology, August 21, 1971 doing summer studies. While studying at Trinity, one of his profs challenged him to have his PhD by the time he was 40. He received his PhD in Educational Administration from the university of Alberta in 1979, just months before his 40^th birthday.

Carlin served at Briercrest Bible College for 15 years, teaching Bible and pastoral theology and serving in various administrative duties at the school. He also travelled extensively raising funds and students for the school, as well as doing pulpit and conference ministries across Canada.

In 1983 the family travelled to West Germany, Switzerland and Hungary for 2 ½ months ministry with Word of Life Mission. That was the first of many travels in ministry outside North America.

God moved Carlin and Marcia once again to congregational ministry upon invitation to serve on the pastoral team at Willingdon church in august 1984, where they served with joy for just over twenty years. During the years at Willingdon they visited a number of countries in Asia, Africa, eastern Europe on short term mission trips. The church planted a church among the Chechen people in 1997.

As a young person, Carlin spent time pouring over the pages of the national geographic magazine having, early on, a deep interest in geography and travel. God prepared and blessed his life with opportunities to minister far and wide in many countries, even to brief teaching opportunities in China.

Carlin has had a great love for the church and a deep desire to see young pastors preach through the Word. In December 2004 Carlin retired from pastoral ministry at Willingdon and was invited to join the lead team of MBmission, January 2005, serving in mobilization and media. Since then, Carlin has led teams of people to MB mission fields, primarily Thailand, along with Brazil, Burkino Faso, and India. He has served with joy, deeply loving God’s work far and wide.

Carlin is survived by the love of his life, Marcia, his wife of 51 years, and his daughters, Cheri (Howard and children, Jodie, Camden and Brenna), Lynda (Allan and children, AJ, Joey and Trevor) and Rebekah (Brian and children Alex and Stuart). He also leaves behind his sister Carolyn of Lincoln, Nebraska.

Memorial Service next Saturday

Reminder - Carlin's Memorial Service, will be held next Saturday May 3, at 10:00 a.m. at Willingdon Church, 4812 Willingdon Ave., Burnaby, BC.

Love,

Marcia

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Please feel free to leave a comment on this blog. We appreciate hearing from you. Perhaps you have some happy or funny stories to share.

 

If you prefer you can send your stories to
CarlinAndMarcia@Gmail.com and we will post them for you unless you mark them private.

Think of this blog as a Book Of Remembrance to share the blessings God has bestowed on us through Carlin.

This blog has now had more than 20,000 pageviews. We thank you for praying and sharing the pain.

Carlin is now Safely Home

Carlin passed away into the arms of Jesus this morning at 7 a.m. Pacific time.

Oh, when God called him Home, He chose to do it quickly.   He was asleep. 

 

I am so very grateful to our tender Heavenly Father for His care of Carlin over these past weeks.  It has been only 5 weeks and 5 days since diagnosis, and it has been fast, though in some ways it has seemed much longer.  What an amazing journey, from seeming full health to stepping into Glory. 

 

We smile when we think that God took him on Easter weekend.  Our Lynda laughed through tears as she said, “Isn’t this just like Dad, to go at a big event!  He liked big events.”  We all agree.

 

I had been up several times with him during the night last night, tending to his needs, and then lying back down on my mat beside his bed.  A nurse had told me last week that I needed to be close in case he tried to get out of bed, and would fall.  So I had a good mat there. 

 

At 4:30 I was awake (when I talked with our three daughters this morning, they all said they were awake as well) and I just started praying, out real loud, so I could be sure Carlin would hear my voice, and I prayed over everything.  I prayed loudly over the upcoming graveside service and the Memorial Service, I prayed over everyone individually who will be involved, I prayed that God would prepare people-- everyone who will come and be in attendance, that God in His mighty power and by His Spirit would do amazing things in peoples’ hearts, and that there would be more people in the Kingdom because of this final thing/part of Carlin’s ministry on earth.  

 

I prayed through Scripture promises, and for family and others, and praised God, as I went through His attributes, etc., etc., etc. for about an hour and a half.  Then I went to the kitchen to get breakfast, went back and stood at the foot of Carlin’s bed and prayed some more.  I picked up all the pieces of my mat and tucked them away, and swept up the floor.  (Carlin had been losing a lot of hair because of his chemo infusion.)  A nurse was expected later today.  Then I went back to the kitchen to get my cup of coffee, and to start the computers—Carlin’s and mine—to see if there had been  any overnight mail.  That was when I went back to check on Carlin and found he was gone.  I could tell immediately.  It was written on his face.  I watched for breathing movement on his quilt, and felt for his heartbeat, and then tears and sobs were all over the place.

 

Oh.  It is so overwhelming to think he is gone.  It feels like I am in a vast ocean, with huge swells / waves of grief and then quiet moments of assurances, then another wave.  You who have lost someone know exactly what that is.  It is a new experience to walk through.

 

How grateful I am to God for what he gave me in Carlin.  What a life.  We did so much together.  I am so grateful that God is my “Portion and my Cup” for now and for whatever days God leaves me here on earth.  I have every reason to treasure Heaven more than ever before.  Oh, I wish I could see the reunion in Heaven today!

 

I am so grateful for my precious family.  Cheri and Lynda are coming to stay with me for a couple of days.  Yesterday Cheri and Howard were here and Howard sat with Carlin to tell him all he wanted to of appreciation for their relationship and he sat and sang to Carlin.  Other dear friends have come several times to sing over him and pray over him. 

 

There will be a graveside service for Carlin on Friday, May 2.   The Memorial Service for Carlin will be at Willingdon Church, 4812 Willingdon Ave., Burnaby, BC at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, May 3.  Pray that great glory will be brought to Jesus’ name.

 

Thank you for following Carlin’s journey over these past days. 

Special thanks to you, Ray, for what you have done for Carlin and I.  Truly a gift that has reached out, informed, and helped us to process the journey.

 

Love to you all,

Marcia and family

 

For posting tributes to this blog email them to:

CarlinAndMarcia@gmail.com

Clarification

We need a clarification on the blog.  Apparently, people have read the Safely Home story and picture to mean Carlin has passed away. 

 

So far, he is tucked in his hospital bed in the library, and I am reading Scriptures and stories of Heaven to him.  That’s it. 

 

No one knows the day nor the hour, but it may be before too many more days.

Love

Marcia

Today's update

Carlin continues on, somewhat weaker every day. But he is thinking constantly about all the stuff he wants to have done here at the cottage.

He reaches down somewhere (or up There) for the extra oomph he needs for certain things. Yesterday, Saturday, was another work day, as two friends, JP and Gerry came to clean the chimney for our wood stove, and so the in-living room part, is ready to take to the company where we
bought the stove 22 years ago. The company will then put together a new chimney and install it someday in the near future. Phew.

The lawn was mowed and edged, and other projects around the yard were tended to. Thank you, JP and Gerry!

Mind you, a dear neighbor had a wheelchair we could borrow so Carlin could be out there supervising the job. Cheri and Lyndi, our two oldest daughters came from Abbotsford and Duncan yesterday, too, to be of help, doing things around the house, and doing some much needed weeding in the back garden. Oh, what a blessing it is just to have family here for a while every now and then.

Last weekend, the 5th and 6th, was when all our children (except Brenna, Cheri's youngest, who was in Washington, DC for a music festival --
where they won five top prizes) were here with us. It was a precious and special time. Carlin then shared the things he wished to pass on the children/grandchildren, and his story about how he chose Colossians as a life book to go to whenever he needed encouragement, wisdom, direction for life.

It is interesting how people have responded to that. JP shared yesterday that the day, the 12th of April, 2013, exactly a year ago to the day, was when we had loaned the use of the cottage to him as a prayer retreat regarding his future, and on that very day he had focused on Colossians 3:1-11 and it had been so meaningful to him. What a blessing to Carlin to hear these stories of how God has used Colossians in other people's lives as well.

There are all kinds of blessings, like having two binders with growing numbers of photocopied email letters, just as a tangible thing to go back to and reread whenever we desire. I read them to Carlin at times.

Every night, when it's time for bed, I give Carlin a foot, lower leg rub, and then read a few pages from a book about Heaven, called In Light of Eternity by Randy Alcorn. We're almost finished, and perhaps will go on to Joni Erickson's Heaven.

He is now content that I pray over him, whereas up until three days ago he also wanted to pray. Carlin's spirit is still strong. I think if he voiced it, the hardest thing about what he's going through is the loss of body strength, having to be tended to, having to have a morphine pump and another med to quiet his stomach. He is so grateful, though, that he can swallow a few sips of water as a result of that med.

Carlin is most grateful to friends who have come to offer help with the yard, and his "projects." (He wants things to be easier for me, I know, when he is gone. It does put extra stress on us, when sometimes it would be nice to just have quiet rest.)

We have planned the graveside service and the Memorial Service, to be held on a Friday and a Saturday. Some folks have had problems with our having set the days of the services, misreading it to mean a specific Friday and Saturday. Of course, we can't know which Friday and Saturday these services will be. But we are grateful to have these planned in advance.

Praise the Lord for dear friends, helpers. Praise the Lord for His sustaining grace. Praise the Lord He has gone to prepare a place for us. Praise the Lord for our Glorious Hope!

Love to everyone,

Marcia and Carlin

Sunday

Marcia:

We'll go to the doctor again tomorrow and hopefully the doctor will be able to help Carlin eat more. Perhaps put him on an I.V. for fluids.

The last kids left at 5 pm today. After lunch yesterday the 9 grandkids (age 21 - 12) read their favorite verses and asked grandpa some questions.  Carlin shared that he had always wanted to have a favorite Scripture and Colossians 3 had become his life chapter.  He shared his legacy with the grand children.  It was a precious time.

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹ Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and

patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." more....

Saturday

From Marcia:

Carlin is fading fast.  He is not able to eat foods, and only sips on liquids, some of which he can no longer tolerate.  It is so very sad for us as his family to be so very helpless and to watch how he is suffering such a horrendous illness.

I praise the Lord that he is suffering little physical pain, and I attribute that to the prayers of all the precious friends who are praying all across the country—and in other countries.  And we ask for prayers for gracious care for Carlin today.

Our Becky, who is a nurse, has been with us for almost two weeks now, at a time when we so needed someone to help us walk through all the doctor’s appointment, the chemo experience, the medications.  The rest of our family is gathering here with us today and overnight and part of tomorrow to have some time with Grandpa/Dad.  It is so good to be together.

While here, the grandsons and sons in law are going to do some yard projects for us.  Precious time, and I am so grateful.

Love you,

Marcia, for all the family

This Morning

We just spent the morning with the oncologist and have a lot of information to process.  The stomach stage 4 cancer I have is very aggressive and has spread to several organs all ready.  No early warning – lab check ups over the past several years have all come in “perfect” as my Doctor in Burnaby often said. 

 

I lost my appetite in Hawaii and checked in with our new doctor here in Bellingham – who ordered a CAT scan within 5 days and there it was full blown stomach cancer.  Humanly speaking I have a few months maybe 3-6 with no treatment and maybe a few more with treatment. 

 

We are trying to discern what is best to do weighing quality of life with length of life if Chemo does in fact work.  In any case I may be in heaven soon unless the Lord chooses to bless us with a miraculous healing.  Our three daughters, husbands, 8 grandchildren and Marcia are trying to process all of this that has come so suddenly. 

 

I told the doctor my loving heavenly Father has given me 74 years of amazing health, no surgeries, no taking of medication, high energy and an amazing time in all the ministry assignments the Lord has invited us into.  And my heavenly Father will take care of what lies ahead.

 

Love ya,

 

Carlin and Marcia

Psalm 56: 9b,10,11a,13