Through the Seasons of Grief

I received this letter yesterday, and am so very moved and grateful for the comforters God has given me over these months since Carlin passed away. I wanted to share this with you.

Amazing grace, sweet peace.

Love,

Marcia

Dear Marcia,

Oh how we love you! It was so good to see you Friday at the Trinity game to watch the MEI band perform. I do not think that I can even begin to understand a loss as great as yours. I pray for you each day. I want you to know that it is a gift to me to be able to serve you any way that I can, so I am blessed every time I can offer some form of help. Please always feel free to call or email so as to not deprive me of the joy of being of a service to you.

I was looking forward to seeing you today if only to share a word from the Lord. I guess I will have to do this by email which is also fine. Last week, I encountered a time of deep, spirit-led prayer and there were some words given to me. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14:3, words are given "for edification and exhortation and consolation" (NASB). As I prayed for you Marcia, the words were - "You are home." I sense a deep longing in you to be with Carlin again, together in the arms of Jesus, but I felt the Lord speak loving words that you are home right now. Here, among those who love you so deeply, is a home for a season. We love you and want to share this home with you until, one day, we all reach the home of our Father.

This last weekend I was in the hospital. I have since learned that I have a stomach ulcer which resulted in internal bleeding. Lying in a hospital bed, Sam brought me a book she knew I treasured dearly to encourage my heart. Here are the words Charles Spurgeon wrote for November 10th:

DEUTERONOMY 33:27 "The eternal God is thy refuge."

The word refuge may be translated "mansion" or "abiding-place", which gives the thought that God is our abode, our home. There is a fullness and sweetness in the metaphor, for dear to our hearts is our home, although it be the humblest cottage, or the scantiest garret; and dearer far is our blessed God, in whom we live and move, and have our being. It is at home that we feel safe: we shut the world out and dwell in quiet security. So when we are with our God we "fear no evil". He is our shelter and retreat, our abiding refuge. At home, we take our rest; it is there we find repose after the fatigue and toil of the day. And so our hearts find rest in God, when, wearied with life's conflict, we turn to Him, and our soul dwells at ease. At home, also, we let our hearts loose; we are not afraid of being misunderstood, nor of our words being misconstrued.

So when we are with God we can commune freely with Him, laying open all our hidden desires; for if the "secrets of the Lord is with them that fear Him," the secrets of them that fear Him ought to be, and must be, with their Lord. Home, too, is the place of our truest and purest happiness: and it is in God that our hearts find their deepest delight. We have joy in Him which far surpasses all other joy. It is also for home that we work and labour. The thought of it gives strength to bear the daily burden, and quickens the fingers to perform the task; and in this sense we may also say that God is our home. Love to Him strengthens us. We think of Him in the person of His dear Son; and a glimpse of the suffering face of the Redeemer constrains us to labour in His cause. We feel that we must work, for we have brethren yet to be saved, and we have our Father's heart to make glad by bringing home His wandering sons; we would fill with holy mirth the sacred family among whom we dwell. Happy are those who have thus the God of Jacob for their refuge!

So my dear Marcia, I hope we can share this earthly home together for a while longer. I told Sam and Sarah while we were in the emergency ward that I had asked God for one thing in my prayers - if God does indeed send a chariot for us to bring us Home, I asked if Carlin could be the one who met me. I miss him deeply and I look forward to seeing him again at the time that the Lord has appointed for us all to be together with Jesus.

May the Lord bless you today. May He give you moments of joy to mix with the tears. May He be your comforter and counsellor. In Him, may you find a deep and restful peace.

Love,

J.P.

On 2014-11-13, at 9:01 AM, Marcia Weinhauer wrote:

Dear JP,

I find I can function pretty well with my computer, at least for a while. So I won’t be dropping it off at your house this noon. I really need to sit down with you to learn some of what I’m missing.

Thank you for being so very helpful and so very patient with me over all this stuff.

I find, as I’ve said, that I function with half a heart and half a brain a big part of the time. They call it "Fog brain" in the books on grief. I’m encouraged that it’s not just me!

I’ve been cleaning the library, and in the process, I have run into my Carlin everywhere. There are binders with his old sermons, etc., so there are tears.

I’m finally able to pick up a book "Through the Seasons of Grief" my dear friend Lois gave me months ago. It helps me understand some of what I am needing to handle. There are so many things to tend to. So I will carry on as best I can with my computer. Perhaps one day when I can think we could get together and figure it all out.

Have a glorious day!

Love,

Marcia