Tuesday 23 December 2014

Christmas

Hi Marcia,
I just wanted to send you a quick email to tell you that you I will be praying for you during this first Christmas without your dear husband.
You have been on my mind lots these past few days. As you are well aware, these holidays are hard on the heart. (especially the "Firsts"!) 
I was reading your blog and loved one of the quotes… "That God will give you moments of joy to mix with the tears". What beautiful words. This is my prayer for you as well. Carlin is safe in heaven and I know you are rejoicing in that but your heart also aches and longs to be with him.
I pray that God will mend your broken heart. That He will hold you in the palm of his great big hands and give you the comfort and peace that you crave.
I also will be praying for your Children and your Grandchildren. Give my Lynda an extra big hug!
You have a special place in my heart!
Big Christmas Hugs,
Love
Rose Strohschein

Saturday 15 November 2014

Through the Seasons of Grief

I received this letter yesterday, and am so very moved and grateful for the comforters God has given me over these months since Carlin passed away. I wanted to share this with you.

Amazing grace, sweet peace.

Love,

Marcia

Dear Marcia,

Oh how we love you! It was so good to see you Friday at the Trinity game to watch the MEI band perform. I do not think that I can even begin to understand a loss as great as yours. I pray for you each day. I want you to know that it is a gift to me to be able to serve you any way that I can, so I am blessed every time I can offer some form of help. Please always feel free to call or email so as to not deprive me of the joy of being of a service to you.

I was looking forward to seeing you today if only to share a word from the Lord. I guess I will have to do this by email which is also fine. Last week, I encountered a time of deep, spirit-led prayer and there were some words given to me. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14:3, words are given "for edification and exhortation and consolation" (NASB). As I prayed for you Marcia, the words were - "You are home." I sense a deep longing in you to be with Carlin again, together in the arms of Jesus, but I felt the Lord speak loving words that you are home right now. Here, among those who love you so deeply, is a home for a season. We love you and want to share this home with you until, one day, we all reach the home of our Father.

This last weekend I was in the hospital. I have since learned that I have a stomach ulcer which resulted in internal bleeding. Lying in a hospital bed, Sam brought me a book she knew I treasured dearly to encourage my heart. Here are the words Charles Spurgeon wrote for November 10th:

DEUTERONOMY 33:27 "The eternal God is thy refuge."
The word refuge may be translated "mansion" or "abiding-place", which gives the thought that God is our abode, our home. There is a fullness and sweetness in the metaphor, for dear to our hearts is our home, although it be the humblest cottage, or the scantiest garret; and dearer far is our blessed God, in whom we live and move, and have our being. It is at home that we feel safe: we shut the world out and dwell in quiet security. So when we are with our God we "fear no evil". He is our shelter and retreat, our abiding refuge. At home, we take our rest; it is there we find repose after the fatigue and toil of the day. And so our hearts find rest in God, when, wearied with life's conflict, we turn to Him, and our soul dwells at ease. At home, also, we let our hearts loose; we are not afraid of being misunderstood, nor of our words being misconstrued.
So when we are with God we can commune freely with Him, laying open all our hidden desires; for if the "secrets of the Lord is with them that fear Him," the secrets of them that fear Him ought to be, and must be, with their Lord. Home, too, is the place of our truest and purest happiness: and it is in God that our hearts find their deepest delight. We have joy in Him which far surpasses all other joy. It is also for home that we work and labour. The thought of it gives strength to bear the daily burden, and quickens the fingers to perform the task; and in this sense we may also say that God is our home. Love to Him strengthens us. We think of Him in the person of His dear Son; and a glimpse of the suffering face of the Redeemer constrains us to labour in His cause. We feel that we must work, for we have brethren yet to be saved, and we have our Father's heart to make glad by bringing home His wandering sons; we would fill with holy mirth the sacred family among whom we dwell. Happy are those who have thus the God of Jacob for their refuge!
So my dear Marcia, I hope we can share this earthly home together for a while longer. I told Sam and Sarah while we were in the emergency ward that I had asked God for one thing in my prayers - if God does indeed send a chariot for us to bring us Home, I asked if Carlin could be the one who met me. I miss him deeply and I look forward to seeing him again at the time that the Lord has appointed for us all to be together with Jesus.

May the Lord bless you today. May He give you moments of joy to mix with the tears. May He be your comforter and counsellor. In Him, may you find a deep and restful peace.

Love,

J.P.

On 2014-11-13, at 9:01 AM, Marcia Weinhauer wrote:

Dear JP,

I find I can function pretty well with my computer, at least for a while. So I won’t be dropping it off at your house this noon. I really need to sit down with you to learn some of what I’m missing.

Thank you for being so very helpful and so very patient with me over all this stuff.

I find, as I’ve said, that I function with half a heart and half a brain a big part of the time. They call it "Fog brain" in the books on grief. I’m encouraged that it’s not just me!

I’ve been cleaning the library, and in the process, I have run into my Carlin everywhere. There are binders with his old sermons, etc., so there are tears.

I’m finally able to pick up a book "Through the Seasons of Grief" my dear friend Lois gave me months ago. It helps me understand some of what I am needing to handle. There are so many things to tend to. So I will carry on as best I can with my computer. Perhaps one day when I can think we could get together and figure it all out.

Have a glorious day!

Love,

Marcia

Friday 31 October 2014

How God is a husband to me

Hi, Ray, and Bloggers,
The following letter is one I sent to a dear friend who has lost her father recently and lives in a rather unhappy marriage.
 
The list below is something that has been a great comfort and encouragement as I have thought it through.  Perhaps it will bless some of you, too.
 
Thank you for your letter.
I am in the midst of having the front deck replaced, as it has rotted some since it was built in 1992!  Phew.  Today I removed the brick pavers that are on each side of the sidewalk.  You probably remember.  They need to be reset.  By removing them myself it saves some of the cost of labour, etc.  It was a beautiful day here today—sunshiny like yours!
 
My heart beats with yours as you experience so many who want to be consoling and helpful but just do not know how to, really.  I appreciate their efforts and love them for trying.  We can’t expect them to know what we are going through—ha, because I can’t put it into words myself!  God has promised grace to us, through us, I guess.  You expressed your feelings very well.
 
I am finding the Comforter very comforting.  Just the other day I read in my very favourite devotional book, Come Away My Beloved, how God is our husband.  It is so right where I am at!  I was amazed:
 
“O, My beloved, ye do not need to make your path (like a snow plow), for lo, I say unto thee, I go before you.  Yea, I shall engineer circumstances on they behalf.  I am thy husband,  and I will protect thee and care for thee, and make full provision for thee.  I know thy need, and I am concerned for thee: for thy peace, for thy health, for thy strength. . .ye need to take time to renew thine energies, both spiritual and physical. . .They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.  And Jesus said, Come ye apart and rest a little while. . .I minister to thee in solitude that ye may minister of Me to others as a spontaneous overflow of our communion.  . .Set thy heart to be at peace and to sit at My feet. . .Learn to be ready, but not to be anxious.  Learn to say ‘no’ to the demands of men and to say ‘yes’ to the call of the Spirit.  Etc. Etc.
 
The next morning I was lying in bed I began thinking of all the ways God is a husband to me.  It became quite a list-- some are Scripture, some are songs:
 
He is altogether lovely.  I am amazed that He has chosen me to be His
He loves me with perfect love.  Unfailing, unchanging.  He is the Lover of my soul
He is always with me
He cares for me and provides everything I need.
He notices my tears and keeps them in His bottle.
He forgives me
He is patient with me
He holds me by my right hand
Underneath are the everlasting arms
He hears my cry, He listens to me
I can hear His voice as He speaks to me—by the Spirit in songs, messages, my devotions, etc.
He remembers
He comforts me in my distress
He sings over me
He is my Helper
He is a Rock, a firm, trustworthy Person
He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, and the joy we share as we travel there. . .
He keeps His promises
He whispers “peace be still” to me
 
Of course, I told myself, God is so much more than a husband could possibly be.
He knows all things, and everything about me and my circumstances.
He created all the beauty He has given me to enjoy
He took my infirmities and sicknesses
He gave me His Spirit to empower me.
He planned my whole life for me—before I was even born.
 
The list could go on much longer!  You probably already think it’s too much!  Ha.
One thing I know, I have no fear, for He is with me.  There is none upon earth that I desire beside Him.
I hope some of these thoughts will encourage you, too, my precious friend.  Thank you for praying.  You are on my prayer list, too.
It seems your husband is a very driven person, taking on more and more.  Perhaps there is something in his upbringing that caused him to need to prove he was better than. . .could win the approval of . . .needs a lot of affirmation???
Bless you for hanging in there, making lemonade out of lemons.  You are such a beautiful person, and I kind of wonder if it is because of the things you have suffered.
Love you,
Marcia

Carlin's birthday

Dear Marcia,
Thinking about you and praying for you on this day which would have been Carlin's birthday.

We both wish that you will experience God's comfort in a very special way today.

Love Ya,
Mary and Bernie Schmidt

Monday 27 October 2014

Condolences

Dear Marcia, Cheri, Lynda and Becky:
I learnt a few weeks ago that Pastor Carlin is now with our Lord.  I wanted to write and send my deepest, heartfelt condolences.  My husband and I were blessed to have known him as our pastor in the ten years that we attended Willingdon Church in the 1990’s.  He touched many people with his warmth, charisma, and sense of humor.  I remember him as a man of deep faith and prayer.  May you be comforted and may it bring a smile to all of you, knowing what a beautiful example of Christ-likeness, he was to those around him.  We loved him as our pastor during the years that we were at Willingdon Church.
There are many things I remember from his sermons.  Here are two of those precious nuggets.  In one sermon, he gave, he talked about what we own in life.  He said that we don’t really own anything and no-one owns us as, first and foremost, we belong to Jesus.  With a chuckle, he added that new parents might think their babies “belong” to them or perhaps that their babies “own” them, given that no matter how tired, parents get up in the middle of the night and attend to their newborns. 
This idea that we don’t own anything, and that all we have actually belongs to God, has helped me get over various “losses” and disappointments  in my life - including the sudden passing of my father almost 15 years ago.  The unexpected departure felt cruel - almost violent -  especially considering the difficult life dad had had, and that he was eagerly anticipating his retirement.  In the months of grieving that followed, Pastor Carlin’s sermon came to mind several times.  As I thought about the message he had shared all those years ago, I was able to relinquish dad to our Lord and move on  to acceptance and gratitude.  Dad had been “on loan” to me for 35 years.  Now the Lord was calling him home. 
The other nugget of encouragement was this one.  Pastor Carlin was talking about prayer.  At one point in the sermon he said he had no theological proof of this, but he thought of a large room that existed in Heaven, filled floor to ceiling with things that God wanted to give us, but we had never asked for.  This image has remained with me all these years.  Sometimes when life gets difficult and  complicated,  and I turn to prayer, unsure of exactly what to ask for,  I think of that room.  And I am inspired and encouraged.  In simple faith, I ask that Thy will be done.  I am confident that blessings  are on their way -  from that room.
We thank the Lord for the many ways Pastor Carlin touched our lives.  May God continue to bring you comfort and peace.
With deepest condolences,
Hilda and David

Saturday 25 October 2014

God orchestrates

I'm here at the cemetery. The headstone was installed this week. It looks really nice.

I stood here thinking over how our God so orchestrates our lives, how I married Carlin, how we lived, how God so beautifully gave us our wonderful girls and then their families. So blessed.

Tender Father, thank You for loving us, for keeping us all those 51 plus years. I am so comforted to know the steps forward are also orchestrated by my God!
Wish you were here. Love to all of you. Mom--Marcia

 

Sunday 21 September 2014

Five months

Dear Friends of the Blog,

It was five months ago yesterday that Carlin entered into GLORY! 

Do you ever wish you knew more about what loved ones who have died have experienced over the time since they passed away?  I sometimes wonder why we were not given more details, but then I come back to the fact that it must be so far beyond our human ability to comprehend, that He gave us just bits of information.  When we get there I imagine we will say, "Oh that's what that verse was talking about!"

I am learning to handle life alone, amongst many friends and loved ones, I am alone.  Not lonely, though, which I'm sure is hard to understand.  I told friends yesterday that some of the time I feel strong and able for anything, and then I have bits of time when I feel as fragile as a feather blowing in the wind.  There are bright, beautiful, wonderful days, and there are dreary days—and I'm not talking about the weather.  Devotions are precious times of hearing my Father talk to me.  I praise Him for His presence.

A dear friend has written a book called Caring for Widows, You and Your Church Can Make a Difference.  (Wesley M. Teterud, Baker Publishing, ISBN 0-8010-8909-3)  I read it a few years ago, and then I read it after Carlin passed away.  It was more profound this last time.  It's a very practical, well written book.  I've recently given a copy to my church leaders, as they are beginning to make plans on how to minister to widows.  I've been asked to be a resource person with them as well as with a funeral director in Bellingham, who wants to begin a drop in place for widows.

It is interesting how folks want to talk with you.  Many say, "How are you doing?"  And of course, "I'm fine," is the correct answer to the question.  Some offer specific help.  "Would you like me to come mow your lawn on Tuesday?"  Widows need help, I think, especially initially as there are so many details to be tended to, so many things they now need to learn to handle alone.  We would like to be the one doing for others, and find it hard to dredge up something others could do for you when they ask, "Is there something I could do?"  Everything costs money, services cost money which we have to be careful about, so acts of service from fellow believers is truly a blessing and a gift.  Abundantly appreciated.

I have a sister and sister-in-law in failing health who need my care.  I am weighing when I can travel to be with them and if I'm up to it yet.  Thank you for praying and caring.  God will bless you for it.

Love,

Marcia

Wednesday 10 September 2014

Thinking of you today

Hi Marcia,
 
I was thinking of you today and thought I’d check in. I took a look at your blog, and sure enough, found some updates from you. Thank you for your open life as you walk through this valley. I still think of Carlin’s interest in using technology and how pleased he would be that technology has been a tool to bring and to send messages of comfort.
 
We’ve just gone through another valley from afar, with the death of Hugo Reimer. Hugo was the pastor who prayed with Bob when Bob decided it was time to give his life control back to God. As we had prayed with and for them through their journey, it was a fresh heart wrenching a week and a half ago when Connie and their daughter Rinette were back in our Vanderhoof church and talked with the church family.
 
So hard to understand God’s timing and plan.
 
I can’t remember who it was I was talking with about Carlin’s memorial service – likely either Mel Fehr or Denis Federau. I had commented on how heart encouraging it was. Either Mel or Denis had quickly responded with, “That wasn’t a service; that was a benediction.” I agreed. It felt as though you and Carlin had planned the service as a gift to those who were there, in the way you pointed us all to the one who gives life. It is great that others are able to watch it.
 
We pray for you and the girls and their families often as you come to mind. As the uninvited tears start to show up less often and as your heart starts to adjust to feeling warm as you put on the earrings rather than sad, my prayer is for you to have a sense of purpose in your days. I’m so glad for your continued connection with friends. Blessing on you Marcia.
 
June

Saturday 9 August 2014

Special Blessing for our Anniversary

I want to share a special blessing I received in the mail yesterday. 

It was a parcel from Becky (our youngest daughter, living in CA).  The card inside with what she had written that moved me to tears: 

“Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad, I hope it’s appropriate to say that and still celebrate what August 11, 1962 was and always will be—the start of a wonderful relationship between you two as husband and wife.  You were a wonderful wife, Mom. 

Well done. 

Love you very much!  XO  Becky and boys.” 

The gift box has a bunch of little gifts individually wrapped, to be opened August 11, “that remind me of you, and I hope bring you a little joy on this day that will always be special.”  Tender heart.  Gracious Father!

Are you still doing the blog?

Time is passing swiftly by.  This is Carlin’s 112th day in Heaven—but who is counting!  Truly, no one up there is!  I’m thinking Carlin is singing, laughing, rejoicing—and maybe even praying for his loved ones and friends here on earth.  There are some who believe they have Scriptural backing to believe that may be true.  I think of all the folks he must be enjoying there, as there are so many who have gone before!
 
Here we have so many things to do.  I’m occupied with lots.  There are many friends to be with and visit with.  There are repairs on the cottage.  Etc.  And I’ve been out and about.  Have you ever noticed how very much area is devoted to men’s clothing and accessories in department stores?  One of my first times out shopping I happened to walk into a store right into a men’s department, and my heart skipped a beat and my eyes got misty.  I muse how I notice them now.
 
Years ago Carlin asked me what would be an idea of gifts he could give me and what I would like, so without missing a beat I replied, “Oh, earrings.  I love earrings.”  From then on for every birthday, Valentines Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, and other days he would give me earrings!  Though early on, he would sometimes return from a trip to some far country with rings—a diamond ring from Israel, an amethyst ring from Turkey, a Diana birthstone ring from somewhere else.  He gave me a 15 year anniversary ring, a 25 year anniversary ring and a 50 year anniversary ring.  Now, as our 52nd anniversary approaches, I get a little teary.  Carlin had an amazing ability to choose the most appropriate and special cards.  I’ve kept many of them.
 
But back to the earring story.  For Valentine’s Day this year Carlin gave me a set of tri-gold, diamond cut earrings.  He was not well after that, that we noticed.  As I cared for him for his remaining weeks on earth I wore those earrings every day.  After Carlin passed away, I went to my drawer to get them again, and they were missing.  I looked everywhere, in every pocket, under every cushion, knowing as I slept on a mat on the floor next to Carlin’s hospital bed in the library, I may have taken them off and laid them on a side table.  I asked my Bible study girls to pray I would find them.  This was such a loss.  They were Carlin’s last gift to me. 
 
One day, a couple of weeks later, I was in a department store and just perused the jewelry cases, when there!  A pair of earrings like the ones Carlin had given me.  The price tag said $400.  I couldn’t believe he would spend that much.  Perhaps he had gotten them on a sale.  Or he perhaps realized this would be his last gift to me.  Again, the tears came to the surface.  Later a friend said, “Marcia, you must go and buy those earrings.”  Well, it took me a while to determine if I should. 
 
Yesterday there was a big sale at the store and I went once again, to check out the jewelry cases to see if those earrings were still there.  Yes, there was a pair very similar to Carlin’s.  And they were on sale at 60% off, and with coupons, I purchased them for $90.  Carlin would be pleased that I had gotten such a good deal!  Thank You, Lord.
 
As these days have passed since Carlin’s death, I have wished I could hear from you who read this blog.  Communication is comforting and inspiring.
 
I must tell you, how God is caring for me, is ever present with me, is such a joy to me.  Truly, when He said He would send a Comforter, there was a reason why that is His name!  Thank you to those who have included me in your prayers.  How I value friends.
 
Yesterday’s devotions included Psalm 30:11 and 12:  “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.  You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!”  Amen!  Yes!  Precious Jesus!
 
Blessings on your day!
Marcia

Friday 8 August 2014

I Was Privileged to Witness the Love

Hi Mrs. Weinhauer!

It's Lynda's buddy Rose from Caronport.
I just found out that your dear husband just recently passed away. I was saddened for you all but beyond thrilled for him. You were my family away from home while I attended Caronport and I was privileged to witness the love you both had for each other and for your children.
I wanted to offer our sincere condolences from my family to yours. I haven't talked to Lynda for so long and miss her and her family. Please say hi from me.

I'm not sure if Lynda already knows this, but my husband Cam was very sick with pancreatic cancer for several years. It started the fall of 2011 (shortly after we celebrated our 25th anniversary). He had whipple surgery for it, as well as chemotherapy for 6 months. He was very sick  but after about a year and a half he started to really improve. We thought God had healed him but were shocked when the Oncologist said the cancer had spread and he only had 3 months to live. We celebrated life with him and he shared his testimony with whoever would listen to him. He was a changed man and I'm sure there were many seeds planted as a result of his life and how he dealt with his sickness. Never did we hear 1 word of complaint. Not once. He suffered horribly those last few weeks and I was so relieved when he died just a few days after his 50th birthday last July. As a nurse, I have seen many people pass into eternity but I have never seen a smile like I saw on Cam's face. It was the most incredible thing to witness after all the pain he had just endured. I know he is dancing in heaven!!

He was most concerned about Tia (who has special needs) and I. God is so incredible and through a miracle in itself and another story… I married a very precious man who has taken over where Cam left off. He is  the most amazing man and father figure for Tia. Cam's parents and siblings were so thrilled. They knew Gery from before.  We were just recently married and I am now living 3 doors down from our house. I never saw that coming but God knew and He is good.

Anyway, big hugs to you and all your family!

Much love and prayers being sent your way.

Rose



 

Saturday 19 July 2014

Lunch with friends

I am amazed there are still hits on the blog, now three months since Carlin passed away.  Every once in a while I read something that could go to the blog, I suppose.  It would be nice to hear what people would write back and interact with me sometimes.
 
Today I was out for lunch with two couples who have been dear friends of Carlin and I for years.  We were a three couple friendship often going out to eat together.  Today when I walked up to a table set for 5, it was so sadly obvious Carlin was missing.  Tears.  Among many things we talked about, we also talked about how immensely more difficult it would be to lose your spouse young with little children in the home.
 
I grieve by tears at odd times, and memories sometimes bring tears.  But I am experiencing God’s tender comforts and presence in the most precious ways.  I am not asking why.  I am not blaming God, nor am I feeling any anger.  He is precious, precious to me.  He has sent helpers when I’ve needed them.  And lots of times with friends.  I’ve been busy beyond what I would have imagined just tending to things that need to be tended to.
 
Tonight I watched the DVD of Carlin’s Memorial Service on the big screen.  I pray God will continue to use that service should people still pull it up on the blog.
Love you,
Marcia

Wednesday 4 June 2014

How am I doing?

Dear Friends on the blog,
Where to begin?  The days are busy, tending to so many things, on both sides of the border.  I look forward to everything being in order, and for life to even out.  Yesterday I stopped by the beautiful cemetery where we buried Carlin.  It was time to remove the geraniums Cheri and I had placed there for the Memorial Day week.  I was happy to bring them home and plant them in the “Carlin Garden” container garden.  So precious.  Memories.  A tear.
 
When Ray asked me how I was doing, I thought about all the times I have felt a pure joy welling up within me, and then, the times of busyness, the details it seems I’ve been continually dealing with, the times I look at the chair where Carlin used to lay his clothes when he was getting ready for bed (oh. tears).  But I, so tangibly, know my tender Father’s care. 
 
The other day, while driving to yet another appointment to sign some papers, I was taken, overwhelmed, with a beautiful sense of being loved.  I felt such love, as if I were hugged.  As I mused on that, I thought it had to be my Father, again, who has promised to be a husband to the husbandless.  So, when I am asked how I am doing, I have to say I am walking in peace and assurance and joy.  There may be some who would chose to misunderstand that, and perhaps I am expressing it poorly.  You,  who have walked through the loss of a spouse would understand more clearly.  “Oh, how He loves you and me,” goes the old song.  I am so grateful.
 
One of Carlin’s dear friends, JP, who worked alongside Carlin at MBMission as, among other things, the IT guy, has been so helpful to me.  Dear, dear JP.
One day when he and his wife, Sam, were here, I asked JP what of Carlin’s could I give him.  He replied that he would really love to have a book that was special to Carlin.  We walked into the library. 
 
Where to start?  I reached over and pulled out Carlin’s Spurgeon’s devotional book, which Carlin has read every day over the past couple of years, making notations in the margins.  And he even noted the time when, after his prognosis, he had been awake during the night and in his spirit just asked God for something. He needed something.  And to Carlin, it was as if a voice—was it Jesus or angels—that said, “I will hold your hand, and we will walk away quietly together.” 
 
Well, with a catch in my heart, I gave JP that precious book.  Perhaps it would be a major thing in his life as it had been in Carlin’s.  The follow up to that story is that, after tending to business this past Monday, I dropped by our friends, Ron and Sandra’s home.  We had a really nice visit (friends are so precious).  Then Ron said, “Marcia, I bought a book for you” (people do give you books in an effort to comfort), and there in my hand I read,  “We Shall See GOD, Charles Spurgeon’s classic devotional thoughts on Heaven,” by Randy Alcorn.  I was so caught by once again, experiencing God’s tender care.  Coincidence?  Not a chance!  Carlin’s Spurgeon is back in my hands with expansion on Heaven.
 
I feel a strange thing these days when now I am forced to use the words, “I, me, mine” in relation to everything—the car, the house, the accounts, the insurances, life.  It doesn’t feel right.  So many years it has been “we, us, ours.”  It feels selfish, or something.  How singular life has become.  Where before, the way I thought (most of the time!) was for what was best for Carlin, how I could bless him, how I could do what he wanted to do. 
 
It’s now a new way of thinking.  I’ve also mused how it would be very easy as a single person to become self-absorbed, as now it is solely, what is best for Marcia, what blesses me, this is what I want to do.  My one protection against that is my relationship with God as He will keep me others focused, thinking what is best for so-and-so, what would bless her/him, and what can I do to facilitate what she or he wants to do.
 
A friend, Marg, unbeknownst to anyone, took a home video of Carlin’s May 2nd graveside service and just a few days ago gave me three DVDs for the girls.  She apologized for it being a unedited thing, but it was a special gift.  People have offered yard work, dinners out, visits in, etc. continually and I am so blessed to have friends around.  I continue with my Bible study girls (all close to my age, but I still call them “girls”).  Precious friends.
 
More precious is how God ministers to my spirit.  Just a few days ago I read from one of my devotional books, Progress of Another Pilgrim by Frances J. Roberts, (it is written as if Jesus is speaking directly to you), “I will minister to you as you wait upon me . . .and I know precisely what you need. . .I will give you what you need for health of soul and strength of spirit.  Go your way in peace and in rejoicing.  The Lord your God is with you and will be your helper.”  How good is that?
 
Four days ago the phrase “Enoch walked with God and he was not for God took him” was going through my mind.  I mentioned it to some friends,
“Carlin walked with God and he was not for God took him.”  Indeed, it seems like that to me.  Gone from normal living in less than six weeks, and caught up to Heaven!  Pure joy, inexpressible joy for Carlin.  Love, as he never knew before—both his love for Jesus, and Jesus’ love for him.  I can imagine Carlin in all that.  When I think of Heaven, what time I have left before I join Carlin and all the hosts of Heaven is just o.k.
There’s only glory up ahead.
 
Thanks for your prayers (I know God is answering).  Thanks for reading my rambling.
God bless you all today.
Marcia

Saturday 24 May 2014

Pastor Carlin was so very special

Dear Marcia,
You are in my prayers. There isn't a day goes by when I don't think of you and pray for strength and peace for you.  I pray that each day God will lighten your sorrow and bless your heart with joy.
 
I see  all the beautiful flowers and green plants that are in abundance right now and pray that you will find some comfort in His wonderful creation . I will continue to keep you in my prayers dear Marcia.
 
I wanted to share some thing about one of Pastor Carlin's sermons . I was very new at Willingdon  and it was Easter Sunday 1995. Pastor Carlin was preaching on forgiveness. This most probably was the last thing I wanted to hear at that time. My husband had left us, me and our 3 children and gone to India because he did not want any thing to do with me as he was seeing another woman in India. I was so broken and bitter and forgiving him was not going to happen ever. But it did.
 
Pastor Carlin said that on our own we will never be able to forgive those who have caused us much pain but with God's help and with Jesus's words from the cross, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" it is possible. I felt that Pastor Carlin was talking to me. I came home and thought of his sermon. I was encouraged in my soul to act upon what I had heard in the church and with much prayer I did. I will always be reminded of that blessed day when I  wrote to my x and said that on my own I can never get past the anger and bitterness towards you but in His strength I am able. I forgive you for the wrong you have done to us and pray that you will do the same and forgive me. I never got any reply from him but it did not matter. I was blessed with such peace in my heart from that day. The heavy burden of not forgiving him had been weighing me down and eroding my soul.
 
Pastor Carlin was so very special to me. I never wanted to miss Church and always looked forward to his teachings . What a wonderful example of God's faithful servant he was. I will always remember him.
Lots of love.  Vidya

Friday 23 May 2014

I miss Carlin

Dear friends,
There are no words to describe what has happened and is happening within me since Carlin’s illness and passing!  I miss Carlin.  That doesn’t tell adequately or accurately what it is.
 
I experience times of such amazing peace and assurance it thrills me, and I know it is my tender Father’s care.  I praise Him for His Spirit within me!  There are tears.  Memories.  Unbelief that he is really gone.  And I always come back to thinking how committed Carlin was to serving God, and accepting every opportunity as God‘s appointment.  In his last two months, just before the diagnosis, I wondered at a reluctance to accept opportunities and decided he was tired from the mountains of things we did in the last six months.  Perhaps he was realizing he was not well.  I chose to believe the Father looked down from Heaven and said, “OK Carlin, everything I had planned for you to be and do is accomplished, come on Home!”
 
Oh, I have received such precious letters and cards and notes!  I have had such wonderful times with dear friends who come to visit.  And times with dear neighbors.  Laughter and sadness.  Again, inadequacy to describe.  Joy.  Praise.
 
The following poem came in a card a few days ago from a dear elderly friend, written out in script:
 
  The things you loved I have not put away
               To molder in the darkness year by year
  The songs you sang, The books you read
Each day are all around me, intimate and dear.
 
  I do not keep your chair a thing apart,
Lonely and empty—desolate to view
  But if one comes a-weary, sick at heart
               I seat him there and comfort him for you.
 
  I do not go apart in grief and weep
               For I have known your tenderness and care;
  Such memories are joys, that we may keep
               And so I pray for those whose lives are bare.
 
  I may not daily go and scatter flowers where you are sleeping
               Neath the sun and dew
  But if one lies in pain through weary hours
               I send flowers there, dear heart, for you.
 
  Life claims our best, you would not have me waste
               A single day in selfish idle woe,
  I fancy that I hear you bid me haste        
               Lest I should sadly falter as I go.
 
  Perchance so much that now seems incomplete
               Was left for me in my poor way to do,
  And I shall love to tell you when we meet—
               That I have done your errands, dear, for you!
                                             Martha Snell Nicholson
 
 
 

Here is a letter I received last week from a dear friend that was so tender.  He eloquently expressed words from a heart that knows how to comfort.  People who pray are so precious.  I am indebted to all the folks who have prayed and are praying.  How else would I know such comfort?
Here is part of his letter:




I want you to know that I am available whenever you need me. You can let me know if there is a good time to do something for you. I am happy to come down to the cottage. If you just want me to send you some instructions on how to do something on the computer or BB, I can do that as well. I want so very much to be helpful but without being a bother. There is no rush on anything so we can do things as it works best for you.
 
I wish there was more I could do to help during this time. I will keep on praying. I will pray that you will feel our heavenly Father's loving arms embrace you. May He hold you up when you lack the strength to stand. May He carry you when you lack the strength to walk. May He weep for you when your eyes have run out of tears. May He bring you rest when the weariness provides none. May He bless you and keep you close always.
 
We love you a lot Marcia. We miss Carlin too.
 
J.P.

Wednesday 14 May 2014

We care!!

Dear Marcia,
 
Our thoughts and prayers have been with you ever since Marilyn Zink let us know about Carlin’s illness.  Words really can’t express how our hearts ached for you as you went through those weeks and then so quickly he was taken from you.  We know a little bit about a sudden loss and also about God’s sufficiency in such times so have been asking the God of ALL comfort to be there for you and your precious family. 
 
I was so blessed to watch the podcast of Carlin’s service and through tears rejoiced at a life so well lived.  What a privilege it has been to have known you both!  Seems to me that the last time we were together was at BBC when I got to visit you and you were dealing with your cancer.
 
We have been retired now for 10 years and it was at that time that Gerald was diagnosed with chronic leukemia.  For 8 years it did nothing but 2 years ago (about the time we moved into a condo) his levels began to go up.  This past summer his WBC was 200 and Hgb 9 and he was very weak and tired so they decided it was time for chemo.  He had one treatment about a month ago and was to have had one this Monday but the blood not good enough so likely next week – they hope to do 6 treatments and then hope for some remission. 
 
This was the first year we couldn’t go to see Jen and family in VA.  Our g’son Jordan was married in TX in Nov and I attended the wedding alone.  Our son Mike and family will be moving back to Wpg after being in Bolivia and Uruguay for 20 years – Mike will be the new Can Dir for Avant.  We certainly will enjoy having a child close by.  Mike is married to Carolyn Clements (Don & Jan (Harwood’s )daughter) Jen is married to Les Sillars also a grad of BBC and he a journalism prof at Patrick Henry College in VA.
 
Marcia how I’d love to give you a big HUG but be assured that we’ll continue to pray for you knowing that you now need to find a “new normal”.  Give yourself time and let others be there for you!
 
Much love,
 
Mavis for us both

Monday 12 May 2014

1 Peter 5:7

Dear Marcia,
 
Oh I'd like to give you and the girls big hugs.   
 
Thank the Lord for websites and blogs, on which you have written so genuinely. I cried when I learned of Carlin's journey home. 
 
I want to thank you for sharing so, and so many memories flooded back. Finding out he had a heart for the rural areas of Montana was a blessing.  Participating in the staff prayer meetings, (especially the Wednesday we prayed especially for you and your treatments, asking God to spare your life) is one I'll never forget, and taught me the power of corporate prayer.  
 
Preparing for Youth Quake - seeing him on the roof of Sparrow Gardens waiting for the SnowBirds to come spreading their wings over the YQrs, and the anticipation in his eyes as he watched the married students below, preparing their ice cream banana splits.  Because I was the secretary at faculty meetings, it was quite a privilege to watch the teachers work together for students' good.  We had quite a privilege serving at Briercrest, touching lives. 
 
I remember Dr. Weinhauer as my Personal Evangelism teacher, how careful he was that we understood our work and CE Youth teacher.  I especially appreciated the Christian Education seminar our senior year.  (1975).  
 
My favorite memory will be when you picked me up from the airport May 31, 1985 and you were all so excited about his getting to train Bible Study leaders.  I was headed to Alaska as a summer missionary with SEND, and it was a 5th Sunday evening at Willingdon.  Carlin was preaching, and he pointed at Lynda and said "you bring Vivian, and get there early.  Sit right in the middle section, and don't tell her what is coming." 
 
To me, he said "I get to preach tonight!"  It was the best possible start to a summer of missions ever!  We entered a hallway packed to the gills trying to get up to the auditorium.  Other languages besides English filled my ears.  It was the Sunday the Korean, Spanish and Deaf congregations joined the English one for communion, singing and preaching.  When Carlin preached, each sentence was translated to Spanish, and by the end of the evening my Spanish was coming back.  I could understand the testimonies of the Spanish folk before they were translated in the afterglow time.  It was so good to see that you'd been transplanted to a good growing ground. 
 
I remember one day when we were Mr. Adam's secretaries, Mr. Weinhauer insisted I come home and tell the girls about the witnessing opportunity I had had on the weekend heading up from Montana.  So I got to be there for supper, and learned so much.  In a very busy campus you folks had carved out time for family, making even the first snow of the season something to anticipate with gladness.   
 
May God's blessing rest on you and your family, and thank you for the example you have been.
Vivian Wall, Lustre, MT

The Way Up is Down

Marcia,
 
Today the sun is shining, the weather is beautiful and the students are smiling and happy that spring is here and summer is coming!  
 
I wonder how you are doing today.  I pray for you often. 
 
The picture of you and Carlin is on our kitchen desk at home.  I loved Carlin’s memorial service.  It was inspiring and made me want to serve God more faithfully, more whole-heartedly, more passionately and more creatively for whatever length of time He has for me on this earth.  I love it that you and Carlin never stopped working to build the kingdom of God.  It is beautiful and inspirational.
 
I was very moved by Norm Funk’s tribute at the service.  He was a friend of mine from Camp Firwood days and I have always been inspired by how God’s grace has moved and developed Norm in ministry.  I think Carlin’s encouragement and prayer was a big part of that success.
 
I wrote a blog article about Carlin and Norm on our ACS Blog entitled “Inside Out”.  The blog article is called “The Way Up is Down.”  I hope it encourages you.
 
If you want to put the link on your blog, it might be great for others to read this as well.  It is a beautiful testimony of Carlin’s work in people’s lives.  He certainly encouraged me in my ministry as well.  I hope you don’t mind me putting the photo from your blog inside the article.
 
 
Did you ever get that chimney replaced for your fireplace inside?  Let me know if you need help with that.  Let me know if you need me to come down to work outside on your place.  I offered to come down with Howard or JP any time.  I thoroughly enjoyed working with JP down there a few weeks ago and it was a real honor to serve you both in a practical way.
 
Blessings and prayers for you today…
 
Gerry Goertzen
Secondary Principal
Abbotsford Christian School

Friday 9 May 2014

Carlinisms

Many people requested a list of the Carlinisms referred to by several of the speakers during the Memorial Service on Saturday, so here goes. These aren’t all original with Carlin, as some were adapted by him because they so succinctly expressed what he truly felt was important:

Tears are a sign of a heart that is under heavy construction.


"Not the one wrong but, the one strong" (with regards to seeking forgiveness and reconciliation)

"Don't give up in the dark what God has shown you in the light."

There are two ways to be rich: 1) Have lots if money 2) Have few needs

"God gives grace for the place!"

Thinking of you lots, Marcia!!! Praying for you always!!

Hugs,  Amy

Sometimes the door needs to be slammed loud enough to be heard.

When faced with an opportunity, ask, Why shouldn’t I do it instead of why should I do it!

In all relationships chose not to be offended.

Son, here’s how to talk about your spouse: “she’s really something.”

If you want to do something lasting and meaningful for your children—love their mother!

When you are really passionate about something, it’s OK to cry.

To be a great leader, remember really good men understand the dynamics of leadership and know how to lead; if you want to be a truly great leader know there are times to be a great follower.

You can never out give God.

It’s just stuff.

No education is ever wasted.

Keep the main thing as the main thing.

When giving or tithing, always round it up.

In church, every person, a ministry.

Re. missions, (out the corner of his mouth) “just write the check!)

Don’t underestimate the power of the Word of God.

Be ready to preach, pray, or die at a moment’s notice.

II Timothy 1:13, 14: “Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus. Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to you.”

What’s down in the well, comes up in the bucket.

You’ll never lose when you help somebody else win.

Tell me what you are for, not what you’re against.

Give yourself to that which will matter 100 years from now.

We’re not smart enough to figure this stuff out on our own.

The way up is down.

The Bible is a layman’s book.

90% of success in ministry is just showing up.

Let’s figure out where God’s wave is and ride it.

Being is far more important than doing.

Hey, Guy!

Consider others better than yourself.

Prayer is the work of the ministry/kingdom

Seek the secret place rather than the opiate of the pulpit.

We need to gather fresh bread every day.

Sometimes going slower will get you there faster.

Go for leadership consensus, it has high value.

The outcome is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (it could be a lot worse. Perspective)

Don’t jump the chasm twice (be decisive in leadership and do it right the first time)

Keep big things big (the Word of God, prayer, mission, etc.) and little things little (the color of the carpet, projects) and ask God every day to show you which is which.

Sometimes you feel you’re busier than a one armed paper hanger.

When a Thai builder used the words, “Jiggery pokery” for something he didn’t understand, Carlin, and then the Thai missions team, adopted it.

Carlin’s opinion of small planes in turbulent weather, “Ricky, I’m not going on that vomit comet! Pay the extra $10, $15! We’re not going on that vomit comet again!”

Col. 4. Devote yourselves to prayer, be wise, make the most of every opportunity.

To Ronnie, music director at Willingdon: “Ronnie, take us to Jesus. Just take us to Jesus.” (Ron took that to mean “just shut up and sing.”)

Money is tangible gratitude.

Love the church.

Go with the going people.

When hiring staff, only “date” one person at a time.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other (eg. The centipede)

When getting started on a project “just throw two planks across the river.” Get started.

Sometimes it is right to give a vital person in the group more than one vote.

God will speak loud enough for the willing heart to hear.

Never let anyone leave your office without praying for them.

Always take the long term view of ministry.


There are probably more Carlinisms you have heard. If you think of some, please send them on to the blog at CarlinAndMarcia@gmail.com , so they can be added. Marcia


Here are the ones from MB Mission. – J.P.

Prayer is the work of the kingdom

We are not smart enough to figure this out on our own

We need fresh bread each day

“Prayer is the work of ministry”

ITS AMAZING

Listen Folks ….

Sometimes by going slower, you get there faster”.

Ramp up your missions commitment

Let’s press ahead

Let’s keep our powder dry around these items

I have comfort with this

That’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, folks

You have soldiered well

You can paint it with all the colors you want to paint it

That’s about as old as the hills

I’m a bit out of gas to motor on down the road with that

I don’t like jumping over the chasm twice

Full meal deal

Keep those eggs warm

I’ll punch into that bag and see if anything comes out for me

They will do the heavy lifting

He’s from a different cut of cloth

Can we have a certain amount of wiggle and jiggle with that?

I couldn’t get a lid on it

Thanks, guy

You are a gentleman and a scholar

“You’re knee deep in alligators”

“Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.”

“That year was quite the fruit basket upset.”

“I’m finding the edge of things here.”

“My computer is fried … fried up in bacon grease.”


LN



Another Carlinism:
"When considering the amount of the donation cheque, just ask your wife and the one that says the higher number, that's the amount you write."
Thanks so much Marcia.  This week I used one of his Carlinisms.  "I will choose not to be offended".  His sayings were such a blessing and I will keep re-reading them.
Theodore Janzen


In preaching and teaching, I think there is one rule that must be remembered.  It comes in the form of a statement learned from my first preaching professor, Dr. Carlin Weinhauer.  He repeatedly told our eager class of budding preachers: “Never traffic in unfelt truth.”
D. Kroeker

Letter from Mark

Mark is a gifted pastor who studied under Carlin at Briercrest Bible College.

He writes: “I know you will receive hundreds of cards, notes, and spoken words of encouragement and condolence during these days. It may take you many, many hours (days?) to read them all, and that alone is a testament to the impact that you and Carlin have had on 1000s of people’s lives—to the Glory of God.

I may not see you at the service today, as there will be many who will want to talk with you, so I thought I’d write a couple of thoughts. I could say so much about the impact Carlin had on my life as a younger leader, but , so I don’t bore you, I thought I’d just comment on three key ways Carlin influenced me to follow more earnestly after Jesus:

1) BBC, first year preaching class! I credit Carlin’s passion for the Word as the reason I chose to pursue the pulpit. Yes, there was and is “God’s call” but that general call to ministry was directed to the pulpit and the local church by a Bible School prof who passionately loved and modeled preaching and the local church. I still remember his consistent challenge based on II Timothy 4:2—“Preach the WORD, boys! Preach the WORD!”

2) His mentoring from a distance. I recall in the early years of our ministry that once or twice a year, the phone would ring and it would be Carlin’s unscheduled check-up call! To encourage, to counsel, to listen, and to pray. Always saying, “Just keep showing up, man! Just keep showing up!” Only God know how timely those calls always were.

3) A man of prayer and devotion. Perhaps most important was Carlin’s modeling of a burden, commitment, and passion for prayer and immersion in the Word. He would say, “I figured someone around here had better be dedicated to prayer and to the study of the Word—and that it better be me!”

How good of the Heavenly Father to give me a godly older brother to mentor me along this journey of ministry. I cried the day I learned that Carlin had stepped through the veil into eternity. But I know he was warmly welcomed as he arrived where we will all shortly follow!

Marcia, thank you for sharing Carlin with so many of us. May Jesus wrap his arms of comfort around you.

Love in Christ,

Mark

I think of I Cor. 15:58 which says, “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”

Oh, Father my his tribe increase.

Bless you, Mark!

Thursday 8 May 2014

Dear Family and Friends of the Blog:

It’s been several days now since the weekend of Carlin’s graveside service and his Memorial Service.  How amazing it all was.  I wish you all could have been there!  Friday dawned a glorious, fresh sunny day, and the grave site was beautiful with blooming cherry trees, and a lovely group of special friends.  God was so good. 
 
Saturday’s service was another touch from God.  Awesome God.  So many friends came to mourn and celebrate with us, and I thought of “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.”
 
Today was a big day, as they all seem to be now for me.  There is much to do.  I was in the city tending to some details, forms, things that need to be done.  Then I stopped to see dear George and Kay who have the gift of crying with me!  Not everyone has so tender a gift.
 
And then, just now, I returned from a trip to the Slavic Gospel Church in Bellingham where I took Carlin’s suits.  For days it seemed the message to me was to give away carefully Carlin’s beautiful suits, which had graced the back of such a beautiful man for ministry in the pulpit, and more recently, the beautiful suit he had worn as he conducted the marriage ceremony for our dear Jodie and Matt, December 27. 
 
I wanted to pray those suits onto the backs of some godly pastors somewhere, and now Pastor Ilyn promises they will go to pastors in the Ukraine.  Only God knows for sure where they will indeed end up, but I pray it will be with blessing.  It was such a hard thing to do, this releasing what has been my Carlin’s into other hands.  One of Carlin’s sayings, “It’s only stuff” went through my head.  Truly.  But God can use “stuff” for extra blessing, too.
 
Tomorrow I will do the Carlinisms list so many have been asking for.
 
Blessings on you all.  Thank you for praying. 
 
“Does Jesus care when my heart is pained too deeply for mirth and song. . .Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye to the dearest on earth to me, And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks, Is it aught to Him? Does He see? 
 
O yes, He cares, I know He cares, His heart is touched by my grief, when the days are weary, the long nights dreary, I know my Saviour cares.”

Sunday 4 May 2014

Memorial Service On-Line Link

Click here to watch: From Willingdon Church
https://willingdon.org/carlinmemorial































Carlin

Marcia,
Thank you for your wonderful ministry together with Carlin.  He was my professor for one of my first classes at Briercrest in the fall of 1975, Communications.  His expertise in communications became very clear very fast.
 
I also studied homiletics with him in my second year at Briercrest.  That was a 7:30 am class that for a college student seemed unbearably early, but he was always there on time and upbeat.
 
One of the Carlinisms that didn't get mentioned was one he gave to my class that I remember to this day.  In preparing for a sermon he said to, "Get all you can, can all you get, but before you open the can, warm it up a little bit!"  I never heard anyone say "uffda" at yesterday's memorial.  I'm sure that was not unique to Carlin, but it was one of his favorites at one time.
 
I was privileged to serve with Carlin on Briercrest's board and always appreciated his perspective.
He was wise to recognize his limitations on certain issues, something that many leaders fail to do.  I also deeply appreciate the ministry of both of you to my parents.  They both felt loved by both of you and your ministry at Willingdon.  Carlin was one of a few men, that could influence my father when he would get entrenched in a position.  He was a source of wisdom for me too.
 
I always enjoyed the times I got to spend with Carlin wherever that occurred.
 
In this time of loss, I trust that you will look back to the many memories you have and that as you look forward you will know that you have very many friends that love you. 
 
Warren L. Dueck, FCA/CPA
Partner